Monday, June 28, 2010

Escalator Etiquette

I work in an office high-rise in the city. That means at least five days a week I am an escalator rider. This makes me an expert on escalator safety and manners. The below is just a basic guide to help you be less dumb about your behavior on mechanical moving staircases.

1. Refrain from standing in the middle of your step. This makes it difficult for me to pass you. Some of us want to get out of here as soon as possible and your bottom impeding my efforts is not appreciated.

2. Once you step off the escalator, continue your forward progression. For the life of me, I cannot grasp why people step off an escalator and stop dead in their tracks. There are people behind you! Do you enjoy being at the bottom of a human pile-up? And don’t you dare give me the dirty eye if I gently nudge you forward.

3. Tie your shoe laces. Escalators are not kind. They will snag your laces and proceed to eat your shoe and foot without even an ounce of guilt. Don’t be lazy. Don’t be foolish. Tie your dirty laces! Or invest in shoes with Velcro straps.

4. If we both get to the escalator at the same time and you are a man, you should let me on first. If we both get to the escalator at the same time and you are a woman, you should let me on first. If we both get to the escalator at the same time and you are a child, you should let me on first because you probably need to go tie your shoelaces.

5. If you are unable to follow these simple rules (which are for your safety) please take the stairs.

5 comments:

Barbara E Brink said...

Love #4. I'll remember never to get on an escalator ahead of you. Your building sounds more dangerous than stepping out into a busy intersection.

Susan said...

It certainly is dangerous. I made the mistake today of almost hitting the guy behind me in the gut. I should add "minimize flailing arm movement" to my list.

ELM.K. said...

I love this post. One of your best. I meant to comment right away, but I'm dumb. My fav is #2

Helen said...

rofl! lOVE the shoelaces and let me on first! hahaha
And do you really nudge people??

Susan said...

I sometimes use my purse to nudge them. It feels less offensive than shoving them with my shoulder.