BLT, FSA, COO

What is with corporate America’s love of acronyms and odd business-speak? I suppose some person thought they were being highly efficient by slicing phrases and titles down to just a few letters, thus making the best use of the precious resource of time, but is time truly being saved if I have to spend a significant part of my day consulting the cheat-sheets that surround my workspace just to decipher a memo?

Additionally, is the strength, clarity, and quality of what we are trying to communicate becoming watered down? Telling me the “RMT prepped the USET before the GLTM” calls to mind extra-terrestrial activity, which is probably not the point you are trying to get across.

I’m not foolish enough to believe this issue will ever disappear completely, and to be honest, a small part of me enjoys it, especially when I ask a person to explain an acronym they are throwing around and they sheepishly tell me that they themselves are unsure of the meaning. I appreciate those comedy breaks.

But because I care about you, my fellow Americans, here are a few steps I will be sure to enforce once I come into leadership.

1. Jargon will be standardized across industries. ML can no longer be used as Market Leader at one firm, Managing Leader at another, and Mystery Lunch at a third.

2. Guides will be given to all new employees and HR will discuss them thoroughly. If adequately compensated, I am willing to pull these guides together and go on a national speaking tour explaining them. Again, this is because I care.

3. Every CEO will be called The Big Kahuna.

4. If an employee uses terms that they are unable to explain, they are required to buy lunch for the grieved party. If it happens a second-time, their paycheck will be docked. On the third strike, Chuck Norris will hit verbally-unruly employee with a roundhouse kick.

5 after 5

On the first Thursday of each month, the National Constitution Center has $5 admission after 5pm. It includes a guided tour, the theater show, and special monthly programming.

Good for:
1. History buffs
2. Killing time before your Old City dinner reservation
3. Sneaking in an educational experience while keeping your kids entertained
4. People who slept through American History class and are now trying to catch up
5. Affordable, intellectual fun

They certainly are direct

Written on my single-serve Silk Very Vanilla soymilk is an encouragement to “Shake Well & Buy Often.”

Elliott Kalan’s Solution

He has figured out how to spur on job creation.

“First, we classify jobs as an endangered species deserving government protection and breeding assistance. Once jobs start reproducing in captivity, it’s only a matter of time before they return to the wild. Second, banking was at the root of all this, so let’s eliminate it. America was built on a strong foundation of hillbillies hiding money in mattresses, and by gum we can do it again!”

Thursday’s Blurb

Jobless Economic Recovery – a notion that is as absurdly oxymoronic as an eggless omelet.

- Marc Lamont Hill in the Metro’s opinion column

From the Paper

There was an article in the local paper this morning encouraging people to get the flu vaccine, especially those in high-risk groups. Accompanying the article was a large picture of a young, attractive Asian female looking pleased as punch to be receiving her vaccination. The caption read, “Getting a flu shot can be both life-saving and fun.”

They should have placed the period after the word life-saving. Unless the vaccines are given with magic needles that somehow get the meds into your system without piercing skin and flesh, this caption is FALSE. Shots are not fun. They weren’t fun at 5, and they are still not fun several decades later.

That being said, if you are high risk, please get your flu shot. It will not be fun, but it’s important that you don’t spread your disease to me.

“Discipline without direction is drudgery” - Donald Whitney

DQ quotes

This blog has been around since 2007 and one of the first posts written included quotes from Dan Quayle. If you need a laugh, go look them up. But since I know you are lazy, I included a few below. I'm just doing my part to make sure this man is not forgotten.

"If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check. "

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."

"Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor. It's the other way around. They never vote for us."

"Every once in a while, you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You can't do that. It's gone, gone forever. "



If you didn't crack even a tiny smile, you are a robot.

Think and Laugh

The most dangerous aspect of your relationships is not your weakness, but your delusions of strength.
- Lane and Tripp


Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to vote for Colonel Sanders.
- Bob Inglis


I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
- Ronald Reagan

Three Amigos

The three of them are chilling in my living room. I did not invite them. They rudely just moseyed on in and don't seem to be in any rush to leave. I'm quite sure they can smell my fear.



Internet research has informed me that if I see three, there is a good chance there may already be a hive in my chimney. Thanks a lot for calming my fear interwebs!

(Softly muttering to myself - "Don't be scared, Susan. You are much bigger than them. Grab a can of wasp spray. Be brave!")

Oh No! They've started to move around the window. That means flying comes next! Right at me with their stingers! I can't believe my roommate chose this weekend to go serve on a retreat! Are my needs not important??!


Maybe a little Psalm 118 action will scare them away!

They surrounded me like bees;
they went out like a fire among thorns;
in the name of the LORD I cut them off!

Gotta go hide now