Friday, March 26, 2010

Fatherly Advice

My Father sends me many email forwards that describe the dangers of, well, basically everything. He reminds me (though I have no penchant for soda to begin with) that I shouldn’t drink Coke, as it is potent enough to clean toilet bowls. I received a Powerpoint presentation sternly warning me to not talk on my cell phone while it is charging, complete with a picture of a charred hand from someone who did not obey. Frozen water bottles equal cancer, french fries equal cancer, and heating plastic Tupperware in the microwave equals cancer.

I read them all faithfully, mostly for the laughs, but also because there are usually nuggets of truth and common sense mixed in and I appreciate that he cares for the safety of his children. His latest forward gives me “Nine tips that may save your life.” Tip number seven is my favorite and I share it with you all.

7. If the predator has a gun

and you are not under his control,


The predator will only hit you (a running target)

4 in 100 times; and even then,

it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.

RUN, preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

Remember people, the zig-zagging is of utmost importance, otherwise I can’t guarantee the bullet won’t hit your heart or liver.


Blessy said...

Susan...I absolutely love your dad. Can he adopt me in for the sake of the forwards! =) Tell him I said hi by the way.

Helen said...

The first thing I thought was "the predator has a gun and you're not in his control??

jenny said...

I used to love it when my dad called me from coffee break at work to tell me it was snowing and therfore I needed to be careful driving.... Dad's are great :)