Elliott Kalan’s Solution

He has figured out how to spur on job creation.

“First, we classify jobs as an endangered species deserving government protection and breeding assistance. Once jobs start reproducing in captivity, it’s only a matter of time before they return to the wild. Second, banking was at the root of all this, so let’s eliminate it. America was built on a strong foundation of hillbillies hiding money in mattresses, and by gum we can do it again!”